When Symptoms Collide...

Well it has been a long 3 days. I ended up with severe chest pain and pain when breathing that lasted an hour. Numbness in my hands and feet...pain in my arm/back. SCARY. We went to the ER when it didn't go away for a full 40 minutes. The EKG was negative for heart attack and I'm doubtful this is a result of my diet as I had some similar pain previously before the diet.

I am concerned that the doctor I see today will have trouble with all the symptoms I've had. I'm all over the place. It's a lot like fishing for a minnow in a lake full of trout. OR something like that. I have no idea if my GI symptoms are connected to my chest pain. *SIGH*

I wanted very much to return to my doctor I saw in the past, but the ER said GO MONDAY. So of course, my favorite doctor happens to be everyone's favorite doctor and takes 2 months to see. So I will see a resident. I know that God has a good plan and my instinct is to go to this office and get myself back in their records. I also set up an appointment with my doctor for September. That way if nothing changes I have an appointment scheduled.

Emotionally I have been ready to drop the diet with the chest pain, fatigue and heart palpitations. I just want comfort food. I have been *good* in that area. Still sticking to it. I can't tell what is die-off and what is a result of my trip to the ER.

If you read this say a quick prayer they figure out SOMETHING. So far no one seems to know why I have these symptoms. There are 2 doctors I've seen and this will be the 3rd. The 1st one said appendix-antibiotics...the ER doc disagreed with him and thought maybe I misheard him. HUH? Like I would mishear your appendix might burst...really. That kind of bothered me. I know doctors are well trained but if my hearing is okay why can't she trust I am telling her the truth. So hopefully, after this, we can sift through all of my symptoms and figure out why I'm having this arm/neck/leg pain and chest stuff. I really think they are unconnected to my GI stuff. Different things that are both attacking at the same time.

In His Mercy,
Evie

Breakfast Adjustments

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.2 Corinthians 12:9

Last night I dreamed about toast. Kind of a silly thing to dream about. In the dream we went to church and afterwards we went to a buffet and everyone got 5 pieces of toast. The toast I had other people ate and I only ate 2 pieces (this upset me in the dream). After eating it I immediately remembered I wasn't supposed to eat it and was upset! I went back through the buffet line looking to see if there was anything I could eat while carrying pillows. Who knows. Dreams are so strange!  I do remember my son asking me if he could have toast for breakfast. Maybe that's why...not because I've almost gone a week with no grains. Couldn't be that. :D

So for breakfast today there was not toast on the table. In fact my son had already eaten when I woke up and my daughter was mid-breakfast. I didn't feel like eating my yeast killer meal...I'm such a cereal and fruit breakfast type. I didn't break diet, but it was one of those "I know I have to eat this today but I really feel like throwing a tantrum about it" moments. Again, no tantrum...except a bit in my brain. Ack. Moments like that really reveal self weakness.  I am trying to offer up each day of this diet for a different prayer intention or the same one if still needed. In a way it is like fasting (I should be better at this as I'm Catholic). I am benefiting from it, but struggling too; thank goodness God can work all things to His Glory. Breakfast ended up being eggs and zucchini with onions left over from my dinner. I had some more Probiotic Tea. Good stuff. Just not the good stuff I wanted. My mom said something wise when I started this (almost a week ago...almost). She said, "You have to change your idea about what constitutes breakfast." True. Just not simple. My brain is accustomed to a coffee and cereal/oatmeal routine. I have to break my thinking a little and reprogram it. Where's the sonic screwdriver when you need it?? Hopefully this is my first of many Dr. Who references to come..."Allon-sy!"
Okay. I'll leave my nerdy-girl stuff there for now.
Eating. Lately I am eating a lot of protein and vegetables.

Lunch and dinner yesterday was a lot of shredded chicken with salsa, avocado, plain Greek yogurt and with dinner I had some sauteed zucchini and onions.

Snacks are harder! Sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, sliced tomato, salad with herb dressing, plain Greek yogurt with cinnamon and walnuts...still refining my snack choices.

It may seem extreme. I do think that it is helping.
BEFORE the Candida Diet...note how bloated and pregnant looking (talk about scary when you have had a miscarriage and don't want to be asked "are you pregnant?") I was before I started the diet. This was about a week before I changed my eating:

And AFTER the diet...remember it has only been 5 days on the diet:

HUGE change. Now for some more truth. I don't feel great. In fact I'm experiencing on and off "die-off." From what I have read this means that as the yeast dies it is released into my system and I feel toxic (I'm not an expert so I *think* this is why). So I've had headaches, aches and pains, cramps, dizzy/fuzzy feelings before meals and fatigue (especially in the mornings/evenings). However just having less fever, no bloating, and the knowledge that all of this is a work-in-progress has helped.

Today's lesson I'm learning is something I always tell my children. You may want something but that doesn't mean you can or should have it. What is it you need? God provides for all our needs but we have to cooperate. I pray for healing, but I can't throw away a healthy lifestyle for my body just because I want cereal. Again the hardest thing to do as a parent is listen to your own advice.

" I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship."

Romans 12:1

Since I offer everything I am and have to the Lord I know he takes these days, these meals, these offerings and does unimaginable stuff with them. I can't see it. I may never know of it. But it is quite amazing that the darkness we often experience can do unfathomable good in the lives of people we may never meet. That is something that brings hope. That makes me grateful, especially on days I get what I need but not what I want. 

In His Mercy,

Evie

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The Beginning

The beginning. Beginnings can be beautiful. My two children were born into this world and it was breathtaking. My marriage to a handsome man who gave his yes to a life with an eccentric and often unpredictable me...beautiful (don't tell him about the coffee stains that were on my veil!). Starting a new school year with fresh eyes, new clothes and new yellow pencils with crisp tips...beautiful. However the beginning of other things have been dark and frightening. The beginning of my miscarriage felt that way. The dark pool of loss I swam in after her death and the other deaths in my family (I lost 5 relatives between 2006 and 2013) led to a pain that at the time no one would describe as beautiful. Drowning would have been a better description. I know that it really was only my faith that rescued me (isn't that the way it works...I needed to be dragged through mud before I could discover I needed help). I don't claim to have done it well or even that it was somehow the "way to do it," but it was something that through prayer His Grace accomplished. Nothing else explains the healing I experienced (I thank God for the Eucharist and the abundant healing He has blessed me with through His own Body and Blood). And, following my miscarriage I learned a great deal about the beauty of suffering. So in any suffering there is beauty ( Even the beauty of crying your eyes out in a pillow while praying the rosary over and over again). 

I'm calling my beginning beautiful even though it may not seem so to the naked eye.

My journey has started this week even though the suffering and discomfort started a while back. In fact my mother battled something similar when I was a child so I suppose my journey started before I knew this was in my future. She was diagnosed (after jumping around to several doctors) with Candida. I read online that some doctors have lost their license in the past for diagnosing it. I actually have no idea if I have it or not. I do know that after starting the diet I'm calling "Kill the Yeast" that I have had relief. So do I have an overgrowth? Is it my appendix or gallbladder? That was the possible diagnosis I received at the doctor's office. I do watch the fever and the pain in case he is right. I just think some of my symptoms can't be explained by just my appendix. Either way I'm tired of feeling terrible. Antibiotics made it worse. I am my mother's daughter and given I'm developing food allergies at the same age she did and having the same symptoms she had...perhaps our problems are the same. 

The symptoms I've had range from abdominal discomfort/pain, bloating, low fever, dizzy/fuzzy feeling, headaches, fatigue, nauseated mornings/generally nauseated, tingling in my hands/feet, arm pain, heart palpitations, severe pms, depression, mood swings, food cravings (especially cheese, carbs and chocolate), back pain, neck pain, frequent urination and bowel changes. Plenty of crazy stuff! Honestly some of it could be crossing lines...I'm sure not all of it could be connected. Although on the other hand it could. When I went to the doctor I was focused on my acute symptoms because I was concerned about a heart attack. No heart attack...just stress on my heart...possibly from infection. Yet all my blood work was normal (Thyroid/CBC/Metabolic). So no infection...but kept on the antibiotics which made my yeast issues worse. *SIGH* I read that Candida can mess with your hormones so that also might explain a lot of the symptoms that look like "pregnancy". I've had some people say adrenals...honestly I'm exhausted from thinking about it (that and stress is a part of my life, I don't really have a means of eradicating it! Maybe all the hot tea will help. HA!). I want to do something. 

I'm following a strict Anti-Candida diet to kill of a possible yeast overgrowth in my intestines. No sugars or sweeteners (not even artificial ones---chemicals), no grains or anything likely to turn to sugar (like potatoes), no fruit, no moldy stuff (like peanuts and cheese/dairy---except cultured plain yogurt), no caffeine and no red meat (not for the Candida but for possible Endometriosis/Estrogen dominance/pms symptoms I limit red meat and soy). I read on another site it is best to avoid tap water so I'm doing that as much as possible. I'm taking pro-biotics and drinking lots of herbal tea without sweetener. I'm still looking into anti-fungals and may take an herbal blend like "yeast fighters." 

Honestly, I started this blog because I know my own weaknesses. I really do. I have, in the past, gained a ridiculous amount of weight during my pregnancies and was considered obese for 4 years. I lost 60 pounds and became a runner. Following the 3rd pregnancy and miscarriage I had 20 pounds back that have haunted me and with my health issues lately I haven't had much energy to devote to working on losing the weight I gained back. So...I need this blog to remind me that I want to feel better and that eating a bowl of cereal or putting honey in my tea isn't worth it for the next 3 months if I'm serious about getting better. Not losing weight...getting better. I want to feel better. If this doesn't really work and my appendix goes so be it. But in the end I know this process will teach me to be better, to be disciplined and to realize that this suffering is a chance to grow and heal. I am a terrible blogger so I hope to post meals, progress and just emotional ups and downs here. Hopefully throughout this blogging experience I will also become a better blogger. Well, we can hope.

In Christ's Mercy,

Evie